Yesterday Matt and I had to go out into the waiting room because they were bringing a baby back in from surgery. We are not allowed to stay in the room whenever they bring a patient back in from a procedure or when they admit a new patient. As we were sitting out in the waiting room, I watched a couple and their family come in. She was in a wheelchair and it was obvious she had just had her baby. I couldn't help but watch them. They were nervous and upset. They were trying to figure out what was going on with their new baby and they were trying to help take care of the new mom. That's when reality set in for me. We were there just sixteen days ago. I am sure we looked like that. I am sure we acted like that. How just a short time can change things. If you would have asked me two weeks ago if I could have been calm and explained to this family a few of the things that the NICU had and did, I would have said no. This is our life for right now. We are NICU parents. It's a different life. One we never thought we would experience. It's tiring and stressful. You have all kinds of highs and lows. It's emotionally draining. You feel helpless because you can't fully take care of your baby. But, all we have to do when we get down (which we do, I think something would be wrong with us if we didn't) is look at Ellie. She is the best medicine for us. The nurses say we are the best medicine for her. It's a perfect fit. That's how God intended it. Jessica said it best when she told us this is a just a season in our life. It will get better and we will get past it. I have no problem saying I will be ready for the next season in our life to begin! We can't wait for life at home with Ellie. What a precious gift from God when He lets that happen. We will be so ready for that day.
Ellie had another good day. We love being able to tell you all that. They have increased her feeds again and are increasing them every 6 hours. I know years down the road if she reads this, it will embarrass her, but she had 3 poopie diapers yesterday!!!! That is great!!! I think the best yesterday was when I changed her diaper and it was dry. I started to put a new diaper on her and she peed in it. Then when I went to change that diaper, she had begun to poop! And at that point I realized I put the diaper on backwards. All I could do was laugh at myself and think poor Ellie. She didn't realize it though. Mommy will have to do better next time. They are continuing to increase her oral medication for the pulmonary hypertension. Hopefully by tomorrow they will begin to wean the nitric oxide. Mommy and Daddy will be loving to see one more machine off of our daughter.
We signed the consent form for Ellie to have the bronchial scope yesterday. What another scary thing to do. We know it will help her, but to sign a consent form for your newborn to have a procedure done is hard. These doctors are very good at what they do, but when you see the risks it puts that fear inside of you that makes you for a few seconds want to say no I don't want this done to her. I have to remember it is going to help treat Ellie and it needs to be done. The doctor told us they do about 2000 of these a year. The creator of the procedure is from Children's and will be there for Ellie. That makes us feel a little a lot better. Please just continue to pray that when this procedure is done that it goes well and they get good results from it. We are hoping to maybe get some more answers from this so they can begin to get Ellie a long term plan formed. I think by knowing something long term, Matt and I will have a little more peace of mind. Every step Ellie makes is a victory that our Lord gives us. We will never be able to praise Him or thank Him enough for what He has done in such a short amount of time. Our God is an awesome God!!!!
I need to get myself ready for some Ellie time today. Daddy didn't get to hold her yesterday (he did get to change a big dirty diaper though!!!), so it's safe to say daddy is going to get some MAJOR Ellie time today. He deserves it. He is an awesome daddy! Ellie is one lucky girl and I am one very lucky wife.
Love you all!
Ellie's Mommy
