Our New Active Ellie

Hello Everyone!  Wow, the past couple days we have seen a whole new side of our beautiful little girl.  Since they have taken her off all of her sedation medicines and cut her morphine in half, Ellie is very alert and awake!!! Now don't get me wrong, Matt and I love to see our little miracle awake and looking at us.  At the same time, it has brought a whole new set of fears and worries with it.  One, we always want Ellie to react positively to the changes which she seems to be tolerating it ok.  Then, we just want Ellie to be as happy as and comfortable as she can be.  This is where we are upset and I guess you could say just frustrated.  Since Ellie is off of her sedation medicines and her morphine is down, she is very aware of the tube that is in her throat and she does not like it!  But in reality, who would.  While it's been so good to see her awake, it's upset us to see her trying to cry and gagging.  As a parent, you just want to take that pain away.  I so badly just want to pick her up and comfort her and make her better.  It's hard when all you can do is stroke her head and let her grasp your finger.  We can't just pick her up right now.  That's so hard.  She looks at us and it's just pitiful.  But I try to remember, she knows we are there.  She knows we are trying to comfort her as best we can.  I know this is only temporary.  This is all a part of the process to get her better.  When these tubes are off of our Ellie, trust me there will not be too many moments when her mommy and daddy are not holding her.  What a great time that will be!

Ellie is still doing quite well.  The doctors decreased her nitric oxide again down to 10.  This should continue for the next couple of days and hopefully then she will be off of the nitric!  They also lowered her vent setting again.  It's so awesome to see Ellie doing some breathing on her own.  Such a sign again of how our Lord is working on Ellie daily.  They have stopped increasing her feeds for now.  Ellie is having some issues with keeping some of the milk down.  They are not sure right now if they just increased her feeds to fast or if the vent tube is causing her to gag and cough some of the milk up.  She did have an xray on her stomach and the doctors say it looks good, so they are not concerned.  She also had a chest xray and it was improved as well.  Such blessings from above.  We always love to hear positive comments from the doctors! Eases our mind with every little positive improvement they see and tell us about. 

I don't have a problem saying the past couple of days have been hard for me.  It's hard to not be able to comfort your child the way you want to.  But, it could always be worse.  You see and hear things when you are in the situation we are in.  Sometimes, I can really let myself be upset and down.  It's very easy to do in the NICU.  But then, you hear something or see something that to me is God's daily reminder.  It's Him saying "April, I am still here.  I am still working.  Have faith and be at peace because I am not finished yet."  It's a calm feeling that can only come from the Lord.  He brings me peace at all the right times.  All I have to do is cry out and He is there.  He's always there.  I know Matt and I could not be as strong as we are if it wasn't for Him.  He is reaching to us in so many ways.  He never promised that life would be easy, but if we call out to Him He is there.  Matt and I depend on that to make it through each day.    He has answered so many prayers and I know He is continuing to do so.  Ellie's progress is direct result of that.

Well, I need to get some shut eye.  Ellie has a visitor coming up tomorrow so her daddy and I need to be rested up for that.  We love visitors.  Makes us feel close to home!

We love you all and can't thank you enough for all of your continued prayers!  Ellie is one lucky little lady to have so many people praying for her!  God is so good!!!!!!

Love,
Ellie's Mommy