Hey guys. Yes, that's right. At this moment, we are still waiting to hear from the surgeon about the surgery. I was optimistic yesterday that we would hear something yesterday or today, but right now we have not. I would love to know something today so we don't have to go another weekend without knowing some kind of game plan. But, on the bright side of things, Ellie has gone over 24 hours now without having a clamp down episode. That is very positive!!!!!!! Prayers are working, I can feel it.
I went home last night and Matt stayed at the hospital. I needed to get some real sleep. I don't have a problem admitting to you all that I have really been struggling this week, with everything. Last night and this morning, I have talked to God, just really sat and talked to Him. I needed to get everything out, everything that I was feeling. You know, it felt so good and helped so much. I was beginning to lose sight of the big picture. I knew it. I just needed to really have a heart to heart with the Lord. Did I get all my questions or concerns answered, no. But do I feel better, yes. God is not here to be at our beck and call. Do we want Him to, of course . He wants us to be patient. I will admit, this week I have not been. Will I still have my moments, yes. But that is when I need to just step back and look to Him. He hears each and every cry we make. Each scream we make. He hears every why me Lord, why us, why our child. Do I know His reason for Ellie being sick, no. When I find out, I am not going to care. By then, I will be in such a sweet place, the heartache and trouble we have had down here will not matter.
What I do know, is that each one of you are helping Ellie and Matt and I. I love hearing your comments and thoughts. They encourage me on the darkest of days. To hear that some of you have grown closer in your faith because of our trials and challenges, encourages me. And trust me, this week I have needed the encouragement. I want to give a HUGE thank you to those this week that have supported us in a way I could never have imagined. To drop what you all were doing and come here when I said we need you, what a blessing you all are. To so many of you that when we said we needed you to pray and not only did you pray but sent texts and emails and phone calls to get others to pray, wow, you blow me away with your love and support. The visits, the hugs, the just listening to me get it all out, oh how I needed that. The texts that have come at just the right time to lift me up and encourage me in a way I never thought possible, is a blessing from above. Ellie, Matt, and I have such an awesome support system. God is so good.
I know I don't have to ask, but please continue to pray. Pray for wisdom for Matt and I. Pray that these doctors will FINALLY get their heads together and decide what to do and when to do it. But most of all, pray for Ellie. I watch this little girl and wow she amazes me. She has a strength I know the Lord is giving her. What an awesome thing to be a witness too.
Again, as SOON as I hear something, we will let you know. Until then, we are rejoicing in the fact that Ellie is holding her own right now. Praise God for that!
Love,
Ellie's Mommy
