Based on Ellie's vital signs today, she is probably just a day or two away from going home to be with Jesus and her big sis. Her heart is showing signs of getting weak, but she is peaceful and pain free. At this point in my life I am able to see that Ellie is a blessing to April and I and many many many others. I am so thankful I can actually view her and our whole journey this way. I know in my heart that this perspective can only come from the Holy Spirit. We are so blessed and thankful for our baby girl. We are so blessed that during 92 days of life, she has been able to touch thousands of people. The reason I say this is because this blog is now averaging over 3000 hits per day and over 75,000 hits since inception. WHAT A BLESSING! This blog is being viewed by people in ten's of other countries other than the U.S. WHAT A BLESSING! To know that our baby girl has touch so many people makes me even more proud to be her daddy...... like I could be more proud! She has made such an impact to so many people at this hospital it is overwhelming. At times, the nurses and RT's have fought over who gets to take care of Ellie. People that know her are coming by just to take her in.... just to see her again. While the hospital staff are encouraged not to get attached, they all still have blood pumping to and from their hearts and they have become attached. We have made friends with so many people here and we know we will stay in contact with them forever. They have made an impact of our lives because they have shown their love to our baby girl.
I wish I could tell you that our Lord was healing Ellie's little body right now, but I can't. However, I can tell you, without a doubt, that he is healing a ton of other bodies through this experience. I wish I could tell you that we don't cry, but I can't. I wish I could tell you that I know what to do.... tomorrow or next week, or next year or 30 years from now, but I can't. I wish I could tell you that April and I will be able to spend another day with Ellie, but I can't. What I can tell you is that through our God's grace, we will get through this. Exactly how, I don't know. That's what faith is all about. Trusting in Him to assist us in our daily lives. Trusting in Him to get us through this terrible time in our lives. We know that if our Lord takes Ellie home, that she will be loved and cared for at a level we can only imagine. Selfishly, we want her with us, but for her, it's going to be incredible. No pain, no suffering, no heartache, no sin.... just pure happiness. As hard as it is to imagine our life without her, and I can't imagine.....I don't want to imagine, it's best for her. As a parent, we want what's best for our children, but, you sure don't think about Heaven as being what's best for your child.
Ellie was gifted to us to make a difference in the world we live in....... and I am SO thankful that I'm her daddy!
Matt (Ellie's blessed daddy)
